In an effort to get into the consistent habit of writing I have made a pact with a friend to post one blog a week. Granted it is supposed to be completed by 9:00 am Sunday morning, which, as you will notice was approximately 18 hours ago. But today finds Verbal Girl in a bit of a state; I have nothing to say. Alert the media. The earth must be spinning off its axis.
Why the uncharacteristic clam up? Depression mostly I guess; listless from dealing with a schedule dictated by chronic illness and apathy. My inability to motivate towards something healthy or useful (like spending time with my maker) finds me wasting another Saturday planted in front of the tv – eyes glazed over with a lackluster stare. I flat out hate days like this; knowing well the path to something fulfilling is just a choice or two away, but choosing instead to slide down the well-worn rut of defeat and subsequent self-loathing.
So, did something change? I am guessing, dear reader, you are hoping to see something other than several more paragraphs of the same blah, blah, blah. I’ll end the suspense - yes, it did. A friend came over tonight. A wonderful woman who has taught me more about humility and being authentic then she probably knows. So we talked. We talked about life for a couple of hours. And in that sharing with each other, we spent the evening gabbing about God and extoling his goodness. We examined his character and his tenderness. We shared stories about his love and the personal way he speaks to us. And you know what? Suddenly my weekend had a point. It was no longer fixated on poor me and my pitiful life; it was instead focused on light and life and blessings and mercy - and the wonderful joys of friendship.
Malachi 3:16: Then those who feared the LORD talked with each other, and the LORD listened and heard. A scroll of remembrance was written in his presence concerning those who feared the LORD and honored his name.
Why the uncharacteristic clam up? Depression mostly I guess; listless from dealing with a schedule dictated by chronic illness and apathy. My inability to motivate towards something healthy or useful (like spending time with my maker) finds me wasting another Saturday planted in front of the tv – eyes glazed over with a lackluster stare. I flat out hate days like this; knowing well the path to something fulfilling is just a choice or two away, but choosing instead to slide down the well-worn rut of defeat and subsequent self-loathing.
So, did something change? I am guessing, dear reader, you are hoping to see something other than several more paragraphs of the same blah, blah, blah. I’ll end the suspense - yes, it did. A friend came over tonight. A wonderful woman who has taught me more about humility and being authentic then she probably knows. So we talked. We talked about life for a couple of hours. And in that sharing with each other, we spent the evening gabbing about God and extoling his goodness. We examined his character and his tenderness. We shared stories about his love and the personal way he speaks to us. And you know what? Suddenly my weekend had a point. It was no longer fixated on poor me and my pitiful life; it was instead focused on light and life and blessings and mercy - and the wonderful joys of friendship.
Malachi 3:16: Then those who feared the LORD talked with each other, and the LORD listened and heard. A scroll of remembrance was written in his presence concerning those who feared the LORD and honored his name.
Here are some words from Sheryl Crow's I Shall Believe that seem particularly appropriate -
Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it's true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key
Never again
would I turn away from you
I'm so heavy tonight
But your love is alright
And I do believe
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You won't give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe
Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it's true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key
Never again
would I turn away from you
I'm so heavy tonight
But your love is alright
And I do believe
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You won't give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe
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