Keep Battling

I’m sitting here on a Wednesday night watching my Washington Nationals play baseball. It’s September and every game counts in the much heated run to play in the post season. Relatively new as a baseball spectator I have spent this low scoring game yelling at the screen and criticizing the players I call my own. “Why is no one hitting?” “They just don’t want to win! They aren’t giving it their all!” I am after all looking for the showy stuff; all homeruns and double plays. As I listen to the commentators, a/k/a people who know what they’re talking about, the game takes on a whole new dimension. They explain subtleties of gamesmanship that are completely lost on me: players covering other positions to make clutch plays; a stolen base – successful because the player knew what pitch to run on; a sacrifice fly allowing the go-ahead run to score. I also see the Coach who, by the way, is not panicking or screaming, but calmly talking to his players; giving instruction, making adjustments, providing encouragement.

It is then a pattern emerges. When I look at the game we’re all in, everything seems to be going wrong. It’s chaos. But if I’m paying attention I see God there, being the Coach. He is talking to His players, encouraging us, making adjustments and substitutions, etc. And sometimes there are commentators, explaining the rule book and clueing me in to complexities I would otherwise miss.

A simplified picture to be sure. There are many more comparisons to make and I know I will continue to ruminate: about relief pitchers and closers and people who are built to be catchers or short stops. For now though, this is enough. I am reassured that God is there overseeing everything and He really does have a handle on what’s going on so I can relax. And unlike the game I watched tonight, I am confident that the winner in this crucial match has already been decided. Wherever I fall short (and I do), when I drop the ball (and I will), I’ve got a ringer named Jesus who takes up the slack. Amen to that. My job is to keep battling. When I fall down, I need to get up, dust myself off and get ready for the next play – and whenever possible, assist the other players. This is, after all, a team sport.

Moldy But Goody

I discovered something yesterday, completely by accident, if you believe in such things. Fortunately for you blog readers, I do not. I see everything through the eyes of a lesson, that’s just the way my lenses are crafted. I was sitting in my living room preparing to review this past year’s small group materials. I picked up my woven bag which was sitting next to an accordion file leaned up against my bookcase when, lo and behold, as the pile was removed I was confronted by a nasty smell and an outbreak of mold! It was a wholly unpleasant discovery for several reasons; first the smell, as I mentioned; second that everything touching the mold was soppy and ruined (not to mention utterly gross!); and finally, I knew there were limitations to my ability to thoroughly clean it up. I was immediately overwhelmed and the thought briefly crossed my mind to just leave it there -- throw a towel over it and be done. I didn’t do this of course as the consequences of that choice were far more unpleasant than putting forth whatever effort I could muster to get rid of it. And so I began, donning gloves (the fact that it was toxic and we’d all be dead soon crossing my melodramatic mind), throwing away infected articles, using a magic eraser on the thick layer of mold covering the bookcase and finally spraying Tilex on the wall and carpet hoping to kill active spores and prevent regrowth. That was what was within my power to do. But guess what, permanent damage remains in the form of a huge area of discolored carpet and a ruined bookcase. The solution to these problems: a carpet cleaner and a new piece of furniture. In other words, I need outside help. I need a professional for the rug and a group of friends to assemble the furniture and transfer belongings.

As my metaphorically-trained mind began to reflect on this scenario I saw a very timely, relevant truth forming. I have recently discovered a festering, mold covered area, within. God has removed the things leaning up against it and there it stands nakedly obvious presenting me with two choices. I can throw a rag over it, cover it back up and ignore it, or I can expose it and clean it up. While covering it up saves work now and what is a sure to be a painful excising, leaving the bacteria not dealt with will only bring about more damage, more destruction and a far more painful -- and certainly unmanageable -- predicament once the condition reveals itself for all to see (inevitable, by the way). The better choice? Open that sucker up! Expose it to the light and the air. Discard the damaged and destroyed parts, clean out as much of the “infection” as you can and allow God access to take care of the rest. Translation: EXERCISE HUMILITY! Stop doing whatever is causing the problem; confess whatever needs confessing; forgive and throw out whatever grudges or grievances have formed; and/or repair whatever relationships have been damaged – starting first with your best friend, greatest advocate and Savior. After that ask the great carpet cleaner in the sky to hose you down and kill off whatever remains. God’s healing will also, almost without exception, include the body of believers.

So there you have it: God’s lesson to me through mold.

Psalm 90:8 (NIV):  You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence.

 

Micah 7:8(b)-9 [or thereabouts] (The Message):  I'm down, but I'm not out.  I'm sitting in the dark right now, but God is my light.  I can take God's punishing rage.  I deserve it—I sinned.  But it's not forever. He's on my side and is going to get me out of this [!!!].  He'll turn on the lights and show me his ways.   I'll see the whole picture and how right he is.

 

Acts 26:18 (CEV):  I want you to open their eyes, so that they will turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God. Then their sins will be forgiven, and by faith in me [Jesus] they will become part of God’s holy people.

 

1 John 1:7 (NIV):  But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

Packaging or Contents?

There's something I've noticed about living in America. We are obsessed with our appearance. I know this will not make CNN as new news, however, I have been struck recently with just how much of our energy is devoted to this pursuit (a preoccupation most of us will swear on a stack of catalogs we don't have).

We have closets full of clothes that we choose because they flatter our shape. We have “slimming” garments that pinch and bind so much that were we to put them on an animal we’d be brought up on charges by the ASPCA. We are fanatics about our hair and get it colored, styled, cut, straightened, curled, shellacked, etc. Travel ten feet and you can’t help but run headfirst into a day spa, where we get manicures and pedicures, facials, peels, injections and a host of things I don’t even understand. We wax, wage war on our cellulite, spend thousands of dollars on crèmes and potions, and hire gypsies to curse the day the little crows started roosting in the corners of our eyes. Even with my limited energy, rarely is the day I don’t get makeup on and comely attire pulled together before I go to work or to an event. Plastic surgery is at an all-time high; as is liposuction, fad dieting, and the list goes on and on. So engrossed are we in the packaging, it’s remarkable we don’t witness people regularly dining on cardboard ice cream containers or chewing on kit kat wrappers.

This post is not to condemn any of the things I’ve listed (well, plastic surgery, maybe). Wax and peel to your heart’s content. Apply crèmes until your skin resembles a baby’s touché. My point is this. We spend so much time preening and perfecting our outside; how much time is spent decorating and cultivating the inside?

I have some thoughts on the matter. (I know, that’s so unlike me, right?) We don’t want to give a sideways glance to our insides for several reasons, the most important being we don’t like what we see. Stop and look at your heart, what lies in there? When I look at mine – and am honest – I see all sorts of ugly little creatures; I see pettiness and jealousy, arrogance, self-righteousness, vanity, envy, anger, malicious intent and self-promotion – just to name a few. Whew that’s a mouthful. And I know I am not alone. All of us – again be honest with yourself – are prone to these qualities. Truthfully, there are millions of people more devoted to good causes than I am; organizations brimming with those dedicated to the good of others – and still, if you could inject them with truth serum, I’m sure they would proclaim the same bag of snapping turtles as me. Before you bellow, I am not promoting self-flagellation; simply taking truthful stock of what lies beneath. And so we go back to the surface; how much easier and less unsettling it is to overhaul the outside than the inner man. Slap another coat of shellac, put up new curtains; thicker ones so no one can see inside, least of all us.

Matthew 23:25-26 details what Jesus said about this very thing to the religious leaders of his day:

25Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. 26Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.

It just doesn’t get much clearer than that. Jesus is not impressed in the least with the outwardly show. He gets straight to it. How many of us cringe when we read this passage because we know our tendency is to do the same. I am wired no differently than a Pharisee. He goes on:

27Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. 28In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.

Ouch!

So, the dilemma becomes, if all of us have this proclivity, what then is the anti-proclivity? I believe there is only one way to quiet the goblins of the dark side. The forgiveness and blood sacrifice of Jesus Christ. But there’s a catch (yeah, isn’t there always?) To take away the power of these pesky weaknesses, we must believe we are no longer condemned by them. That’s right – the catch is BELIEF! Romans 8:1 states, “1Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus . . . .” What? That’s it? I don’t get it. Well, here is the Message version of verses 1 and 2 which I think help make it plain as day.

1-2With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ's being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.

That’s what allows me to look inside and not turn away. I am accepted wholly by the one who died for me. I am free! Free to change, to examine, to atone and very importantly, to move on!

So the next time you find yourself obsessing about your appearance, see it as a red flag and ask yourself why. Go ahead, I double dog dare you! In the meantime, take a cue from the one that formed you.

1 Samuel 16:7 (NIV) But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

John 8:36 (NIV) So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

John 8:34-36 (The Message) Jesus said, "I tell you most solemnly that anyone who chooses a life of sin is trapped in a dead-end life and is, in fact, a slave. A slave is a transient, who can't come and go at will. The Son, though, has an established position, the run of the house. So if the Son sets you free, you are free through and through.

Here kitty, kitty. Niiiiiice kitty.

I have recently acquired another cat. The whys and wherefores of my choice are boggling to the mind considering the fact that I am moderately to severely disabled with m.s. Maybe I was a quart low on chaos. This is not a kitten. She is a 14-year old, one-eyed cat who has had only one owner since a fluffball and lived in the same house. She's lovely and was in desperate need of a good home, and since kitties come here to be spoiled, it seemed the reasonable choice. I want to love and help her, she needs love and help.

It's been about a week now and at first things seemed to be rolling right along. She and my cat hissed a little, but nothing major and I started to feel fairly positive about the whole situation. And then . . . I came home one night this week, walked in the room and began the new ritual with the new houseguest – I bring the food, she comes out for dinner and a pet, when . . . WHAMMO – ATTACK CAT came out to play and I found that my hand had become the main course. I don't know if I rushed things with trying to integrate living spaces, or if the desperation had worn off my new charge and the fear of the unknown had settled in, but something went haywire. Contemplating the situation (as I cried and soaked my hand in hydrogen peroxide), I started to think about the picture as a whole. Here was this little fuzzy thing that had spent her entire life with one person. She had a home she knew, a territory that smelled like her and nothing was a surprise or presented any fear given her limited sight. Now here she is where NOTHING is familiar; new house, new caretaker, new sibling (that hisses and growls her welcome), new smells, news food, new litter accommodations, new, new, new, new! I can only imagine that she is terrified. Terrified and defensive and suspicious; about me, about everything.

It was then I started seeing the parallels in my relationship with God. My health seems to be deteriorating at a very rapid rate. I'm losing abilities right and left; even the simplest of chores is fading into the background; a severely diminished social calendar. A hazy, not altogether pleasant future looming ahead and I, like kitty, am terrified, defensive and suspicious. I began recollecting how many times I have bitten the hand of God recently. He is the bringer of my sustenance, my caretaker; in fact my very survival depends on Him. And yet, when I let the fear of the future, the “why me” self-pity, or the jealousy and often anger that lurks just beneath the surface directed at everyone who can do what I can't, I snap and lay it all on God – biting and scratching, kicking and screaming. “Why won't you help me?” “How can you say you love me and watch me struggle like this?” “Why won't you rescue me?” I'M SCARED!

I know with kitty it will take time. I have to prove to her I am trustworthy. I am sure I'm not much different. I stopped to consider the massive collection of times God and the love of Jesus Christ has proven they are trustworthy. My provision is whole and complete. I live in a lovely place, have the support of amazing people, have a job where they like me and I like them – a steady paycheck being a huge blessing alone in today's economy. I have health insurance, and the list goes on and on. God is present. God is living up to His promises every moment of every day. He is here with me. Whether I need guidance, protection, comfort, friendship, unconditional love, forgiveness, grace. He offers them all and more with overflowing hands.
My responsibility is to constantly remind myself of that truth through His word and His actions, so that when the waves of change and difficulty come I am filled with confidence and praise instead of fear and distrust.

Genesis 28:15 (NIV): "I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you."

Isaiah 41:10 (NIV): "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Jeremiah 1:8 (NIV): "Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD.