Debilitating. Discouraging. Demoralizing. All words meant to describe what the feeling of failure does to a person. Well does to me anyway. Mistakenly concluding that, as much as I loathe the fit of this cloak, my distaste would act as a deterrent, thus ensuring my commitment to success. Ahh, but closer scrutiny reveals that this particular garment has a sticky inner lining that once donned produces cling as stubborn as those annoying Styrofoam packing peanuts. More descriptively, dog poo scented Styrofoam packing peanuts. In short, failure – or my perception of it – can and has shut me down for quite a while - many times, days.
This being my first post, perhaps a little background is called for. I am a 40-something woman who has just been (finally) diagnosed with Chronic Lyme Disease. A diagnosis coming on the heels of an apparently all too common “it’s M.S., no it’s Lyme, no it’s M.S., no it’s Lyme . . .” tug of war played by numerous doctors with numerous contradictory opinions and their numerous non-conclusive tests (and, of course, the numerous piles of money the afore-mentioned things require). The end result of all this being that most days I feel like slightly warmed over crap on toast. (Well now. That was less than delicate, wasn’t it.)
Back to failure.
I had somewhere I wanted to be this morning. A bible study to be exact. But things started out difficult, and, as has become my m.o. more and more lately, I did not overcome those obstacles. The morning progressed and the physical challenges, coupled with disappointment in self, combined to strip the morning of any productivity whatsoever. And so, arriving at my job – 2+ hours late – my initially harmless, peanut-sized accessory had become a full blown Michelin man sized, medieval coat of armor. Hardly conducive to fruitful labor.
I am happy to report that with the aide and support of trusted friends (and their willingness to brave the stench) I was last seen beating the poo (intended) out of failure and stuffing the useless garment into a trash compacter, hopeful that at least for the moment it is gone. I’m keeping my eyes open though, and if (or more truthfully, when) the ugly vestige worms it’s stinky way back into my closet I hope to promptly feed it to the shredder.
Verses for the day: Eccleciastes 4:9-12 (The Message)
9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.
12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
This being my first post, perhaps a little background is called for. I am a 40-something woman who has just been (finally) diagnosed with Chronic Lyme Disease. A diagnosis coming on the heels of an apparently all too common “it’s M.S., no it’s Lyme, no it’s M.S., no it’s Lyme . . .” tug of war played by numerous doctors with numerous contradictory opinions and their numerous non-conclusive tests (and, of course, the numerous piles of money the afore-mentioned things require). The end result of all this being that most days I feel like slightly warmed over crap on toast. (Well now. That was less than delicate, wasn’t it.)
Back to failure.
I had somewhere I wanted to be this morning. A bible study to be exact. But things started out difficult, and, as has become my m.o. more and more lately, I did not overcome those obstacles. The morning progressed and the physical challenges, coupled with disappointment in self, combined to strip the morning of any productivity whatsoever. And so, arriving at my job – 2+ hours late – my initially harmless, peanut-sized accessory had become a full blown Michelin man sized, medieval coat of armor. Hardly conducive to fruitful labor.
I am happy to report that with the aide and support of trusted friends (and their willingness to brave the stench) I was last seen beating the poo (intended) out of failure and stuffing the useless garment into a trash compacter, hopeful that at least for the moment it is gone. I’m keeping my eyes open though, and if (or more truthfully, when) the ugly vestige worms it’s stinky way back into my closet I hope to promptly feed it to the shredder.
Verses for the day: Eccleciastes 4:9-12 (The Message)
9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.
12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
1 comment:
You go girl! Remember it is both our successes, as well as our failures, together, that make us who we ultimately become. Oh and by the way, our failures are never "for nothing". God uses everything we do, for His glory, if we just trust (Romans 8:28). So..live on girlfriend! God has got you covered. :-)
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