Never made it to work today. Barely made it off the couch. The Lyme disease hit some high notes and the worst part was realizing I ran out of meds yesterday. Not a smart plan when the difference between being physically able to leave the house and remaining immobilized is a small handful of pharmaceuticals. Sort of a Catch 22 - I need to get to the drug store, but I can't get to the drug store, but I must get to the drug store . . . well, you get the picture. And so verily I limped by on a few Advil -- strong enough to allow for a series of semi-comfortable positions, not strong enough to allow for comfortable movement. I have found that as the day stretches on to put distance between me and my morning Lyme treatment, and is combined with a gallon or two of water, things improve a small bit. So off I set a half hour before the pharmacy closed to pick up the much needed medications.
I sat in the car at the Giant parking lot preparing to go in, praying very specifically which I am careful to do. I asked God to please get me to the pharmacy counter, allow me to pick everything up and get me back to the car; all without having anything embarrassing happen (which frequently does). Prescriptions in hand I made my feeble way back to the car, calling for grace to make every step possible, grateful the trip was no farther. What blazed its way into my imagination was that long ago walk down the Via Dolorosa by a brutally beaten, flawlessly perfect, carpenter.
I grew mesmeried trying to understand and relate to the pain Jesus experienced the day he fulfilled his Father's plan of salvation for us. I stumbled along in tears at this point reflecting on his broken and bleeding body; the exhaustion that had to surge through every solitary cell; his hunger; his shame; being mercilessly mocked by those he came to set free and stripped of all we think displays humanity. I can't explore the depths of those sufferings. None of us adequately can. Not on this side of the grave, anyway. And I'm not inclined to think that even in death we will get to the extent of it. In light of all this, how can one not ask the $64,000,000 question.
WHY?
Love.
Mind-bending, gut-wrenching, heart-changing, universe altering - LOVE. Love that conquers pain. It conquers failure and sin and yes, death. It goes to hell and back. Love that makes the kind of sacrifice only God could bear and does it in the body of a human with all the frailties and limitations that entails. I know in the past I have thought - but he was God - surely that was how he could do it. And indeed that is the truth. No mortal creature, man or woman could or would endure it. Except one. One that felt no less physical pain than we would have felt. One that knew a degree of emotional hemorrhaging we can't imagine. And One that experienced spiritual loss we can scarcely scratch the surface of. Let those truths absorb for a moment. He carried out the plan of the immortal God in a mortal container. He was more fully human than we will ever know, while at the same time being fully God. And he did it without one whiff of regret or moment of remorse. Not when the answer came that there was no other way. He never, ever flinched. He even refused the opportunity while on the cross to take the edge off with a form of painkiller. Now that is seriously some "I'm crazy about you, will go to the ends of the earth for you, and move every mountain out of your way love" that I just have to honor by spending the rest of my life wrapping my mind around and soaking in.
I want to remember this hallmark of love every single time I am tempted to think God does not understand my pain. Oh he gets it all right - he gets it plenty. And God never goes halfway. Comprehensively to the fullest extent on every single promise. Oh dear ones strain to reach for the truth that He loves you! Furiously, passionately, completely. Every single moment of every single day covering every single facet. He left nothing out.
He took the long way home.
Verses for a lifetime:
Ephesians 3:17(b)-19 (NIV)
I sat in the car at the Giant parking lot preparing to go in, praying very specifically which I am careful to do. I asked God to please get me to the pharmacy counter, allow me to pick everything up and get me back to the car; all without having anything embarrassing happen (which frequently does). Prescriptions in hand I made my feeble way back to the car, calling for grace to make every step possible, grateful the trip was no farther. What blazed its way into my imagination was that long ago walk down the Via Dolorosa by a brutally beaten, flawlessly perfect, carpenter.
I grew mesmeried trying to understand and relate to the pain Jesus experienced the day he fulfilled his Father's plan of salvation for us. I stumbled along in tears at this point reflecting on his broken and bleeding body; the exhaustion that had to surge through every solitary cell; his hunger; his shame; being mercilessly mocked by those he came to set free and stripped of all we think displays humanity. I can't explore the depths of those sufferings. None of us adequately can. Not on this side of the grave, anyway. And I'm not inclined to think that even in death we will get to the extent of it. In light of all this, how can one not ask the $64,000,000 question.
WHY?
Love.
Mind-bending, gut-wrenching, heart-changing, universe altering - LOVE. Love that conquers pain. It conquers failure and sin and yes, death. It goes to hell and back. Love that makes the kind of sacrifice only God could bear and does it in the body of a human with all the frailties and limitations that entails. I know in the past I have thought - but he was God - surely that was how he could do it. And indeed that is the truth. No mortal creature, man or woman could or would endure it. Except one. One that felt no less physical pain than we would have felt. One that knew a degree of emotional hemorrhaging we can't imagine. And One that experienced spiritual loss we can scarcely scratch the surface of. Let those truths absorb for a moment. He carried out the plan of the immortal God in a mortal container. He was more fully human than we will ever know, while at the same time being fully God. And he did it without one whiff of regret or moment of remorse. Not when the answer came that there was no other way. He never, ever flinched. He even refused the opportunity while on the cross to take the edge off with a form of painkiller. Now that is seriously some "I'm crazy about you, will go to the ends of the earth for you, and move every mountain out of your way love" that I just have to honor by spending the rest of my life wrapping my mind around and soaking in.
I want to remember this hallmark of love every single time I am tempted to think God does not understand my pain. Oh he gets it all right - he gets it plenty. And God never goes halfway. Comprehensively to the fullest extent on every single promise. Oh dear ones strain to reach for the truth that He loves you! Furiously, passionately, completely. Every single moment of every single day covering every single facet. He left nothing out.
He took the long way home.
Verses for a lifetime:
Ephesians 3:17(b)-19 (NIV)
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Romans 8:34-35, 38-39 (The Message)
The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripure . . . . I'm absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.
1st Corinthians 13:8 (NIV)
Love never fails.
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