The end of a very difficult day. Why? Many reasons. The biggest being that I have received some unpleasant (and wholeheartedly unsolicited!) correction from God that I would much rather ignore. The least being that it's really late and instead of writing this post I would prefer to sink into the indulgent cream-filled oblivion of a mindless tv sitcom.
I have a punctuality problem. I was late to work today. . . again -- as was brought to my attention rather unceremoniously. Sure there are days when lateness is unavoidable - things you don't anticipate. Today's, however, was not caused by unseen obstacles but by my lack of planning for difficulties already known to exist. This is not a new problem. It has, however, sparked a much bigger dialog.
The mechanics of Correction.
Discipline, alteration, modification, rectification, improvement, adjustment, amendment, tweak - whatever name you call it - it leads to the same end. The decision you made or are making does not lead to a good destination, which, once brought to your attention, begs another choice; change your direction or continue on and suffer consequences.
I must admit when I get a course correction from God, I desire it be administered in an easily digestible form: have someone point it out in a kind and sensitive manner; have God gently nudge me through His word; develop a slight sensitivity to the wrongdoing through the Spirit. There was nothing soft and furry about today's flaw highlight, marching me to the conclusion that I missed "gentle" the first 792 times this was brought to my attention, thereby leading to the sound baseball bat thump I received instead. In the case of planning and punctuality, correction has popped its unsightly head out so many times (only to be hammer smacked down) that it resembles a Whack-a-Mole machine. All ultimately expending much more energy than simply listening would have produced. But like most people, I've discovered I do not like it one bit when truth stares me in the face and pokes me in the eye.
And so the next part of the equation presents itself. My response. If one is willng to look, God clues us in to the mechanics of this cause and effect over and over in His word.
Proverbs 15:10 - Stern discipline awaits him who leaves the path; he who hates correction will die. (Bam!)
Deuteronomy 30:19 - This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live. (Pow!)
(And my personal favorite)
Proverbs 12:1 - Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid. (Whammo! and Ouch!)
And those are just a few. Criminy, Deuteronomy 30 in its entirety paints a wall-sized mural of this lesson. Batman sound effects aside, though, the warning is clear - choose carefully which path to go skipping merrily down. All rambling procrastinations aside, this begs for me to stop a minute and percolate. Why is my habit to be so stubborn? What prevents me from recognizing these lessons (or flaws) when they present themselves?
The first and most obvious dynamic is I don't want to fix whatever it is. Often I know very well I am choosing the Highway to Hell on-ramp, usually while singing AC/DC at the top of my lungs. Root Cause No. 1: Open rebellion. Foolish choice. God has promised consequences are coming. Getting to the root of this behavior has - without exception - uncovered my mistrust of God and his character as its source. I either (1) want something I think God the cosmic killjoy is holding back from me (sound familiar Eve?), or (2) believe he really doesn't love me enough to give me whatever it is so I have to get it myself. Getting to the core of this lie is the key to melting my defiance.
The second root of stubborness is I alone can't fix it. When it comes to tardiness (as with many other bad behaviors and habits), I have tried to change countless hundreds of times and failed miserably. I have to ask God for help. Root Cause No. 2: Control. I have it and need to let go of it. This little seesaw goes up and down constantly. I am optimistic that having refused to give up the driver seat, thus careening over the embankment, so many times now, letting go of the steering wheel is becoming more natural. (Relax beltway drivers, strictly an illustration.)
I have to be finished digging, right? Not quite. In my musings, I stumbled upon a positively unsightly little tumor. I refuse to change or obey because I've convinced myself I am above the law. That's right - a sense of entitlement. Root Cause No. 3: Privilege. That heartfelt belief that everyone else has to follow the rules, but I am exempt. Whoa! Suddenly I am the Queen of England. Not an endearing personality trait. No wonder I don't want to look too hard at it.
And surely there are dozens more. It's clear our heart knows as many ways to rationalize doing wrong as there are cells in our bodies. And even the few I've touched on require more in-depth study and clean-up. Aww well, so goes life. Moving through the messy business of loose ends, always unfinished; learning, growing, failing, succeeding, progressing, backsliding. Pressing on toward the goal, forgetting what lies behind. I'm sure there will be more posts to come as I wrestle with my flesh and take on the vision of who I am and who I am still to be in Christ
Verses for the day: Philippians 3:12-14 (The Message)
I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.
I have a punctuality problem. I was late to work today. . . again -- as was brought to my attention rather unceremoniously. Sure there are days when lateness is unavoidable - things you don't anticipate. Today's, however, was not caused by unseen obstacles but by my lack of planning for difficulties already known to exist. This is not a new problem. It has, however, sparked a much bigger dialog.
The mechanics of Correction.
Discipline, alteration, modification, rectification, improvement, adjustment, amendment, tweak - whatever name you call it - it leads to the same end. The decision you made or are making does not lead to a good destination, which, once brought to your attention, begs another choice; change your direction or continue on and suffer consequences.
I must admit when I get a course correction from God, I desire it be administered in an easily digestible form: have someone point it out in a kind and sensitive manner; have God gently nudge me through His word; develop a slight sensitivity to the wrongdoing through the Spirit. There was nothing soft and furry about today's flaw highlight, marching me to the conclusion that I missed "gentle" the first 792 times this was brought to my attention, thereby leading to the sound baseball bat thump I received instead. In the case of planning and punctuality, correction has popped its unsightly head out so many times (only to be hammer smacked down) that it resembles a Whack-a-Mole machine. All ultimately expending much more energy than simply listening would have produced. But like most people, I've discovered I do not like it one bit when truth stares me in the face and pokes me in the eye.
And so the next part of the equation presents itself. My response. If one is willng to look, God clues us in to the mechanics of this cause and effect over and over in His word.
Proverbs 15:10 - Stern discipline awaits him who leaves the path; he who hates correction will die. (Bam!)
Deuteronomy 30:19 - This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live. (Pow!)
(And my personal favorite)
Proverbs 12:1 - Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid. (Whammo! and Ouch!)
And those are just a few. Criminy, Deuteronomy 30 in its entirety paints a wall-sized mural of this lesson. Batman sound effects aside, though, the warning is clear - choose carefully which path to go skipping merrily down. All rambling procrastinations aside, this begs for me to stop a minute and percolate. Why is my habit to be so stubborn? What prevents me from recognizing these lessons (or flaws) when they present themselves?
The first and most obvious dynamic is I don't want to fix whatever it is. Often I know very well I am choosing the Highway to Hell on-ramp, usually while singing AC/DC at the top of my lungs. Root Cause No. 1: Open rebellion. Foolish choice. God has promised consequences are coming. Getting to the root of this behavior has - without exception - uncovered my mistrust of God and his character as its source. I either (1) want something I think God the cosmic killjoy is holding back from me (sound familiar Eve?), or (2) believe he really doesn't love me enough to give me whatever it is so I have to get it myself. Getting to the core of this lie is the key to melting my defiance.
The second root of stubborness is I alone can't fix it. When it comes to tardiness (as with many other bad behaviors and habits), I have tried to change countless hundreds of times and failed miserably. I have to ask God for help. Root Cause No. 2: Control. I have it and need to let go of it. This little seesaw goes up and down constantly. I am optimistic that having refused to give up the driver seat, thus careening over the embankment, so many times now, letting go of the steering wheel is becoming more natural. (Relax beltway drivers, strictly an illustration.)
I have to be finished digging, right? Not quite. In my musings, I stumbled upon a positively unsightly little tumor. I refuse to change or obey because I've convinced myself I am above the law. That's right - a sense of entitlement. Root Cause No. 3: Privilege. That heartfelt belief that everyone else has to follow the rules, but I am exempt. Whoa! Suddenly I am the Queen of England. Not an endearing personality trait. No wonder I don't want to look too hard at it.
And surely there are dozens more. It's clear our heart knows as many ways to rationalize doing wrong as there are cells in our bodies. And even the few I've touched on require more in-depth study and clean-up. Aww well, so goes life. Moving through the messy business of loose ends, always unfinished; learning, growing, failing, succeeding, progressing, backsliding. Pressing on toward the goal, forgetting what lies behind. I'm sure there will be more posts to come as I wrestle with my flesh and take on the vision of who I am and who I am still to be in Christ
Verses for the day: Philippians 3:12-14 (The Message)
I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.
1 comment:
I do believe that the world we live in can be rather "unforgiving" especially if we tend to repeat our mistkaes AND it affects someone else in someway. Even our friends might say they understand while having a rather resentful tongue-biting episode all the while. I am so grateful that the God we serve is forgiving and the bible says "His mercies are new every morning!"
How could anyone not want to serve a God like this? Humans will fail us and we will fail them, God can't and won't ...ever. Stop condeming yourself and start rejoicing in His mercy and love for you and get up earlier, so as not to be late again!!!!
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